The blazing stars, The Artic Monkeys, failed to appear in person at the awards extravaganza for the second year in a row, despite this year's two awards. Leaked information from the camera crew that shot the on-location footage revealed that the reason no one has seen the music phenoms is that they are in fact REAL MONKEYS!
Video broadcasts of the hot new group showed them in costume-first as characters from The Wizard of Oz and then as the Village People.
Virgil Lenscap claims to have peaked into the dressing room between shoots and saw a chimp half dressed as the Tin Man. Virgil says the chimpanzee caught with his oil drum down pleaded with him in sign language to have a heart. A great Ape between lion's mane and Indian chief's headdress roared at Virgil and some crazy combo of scarecrow and construction worker orangutang actually used syllogisms to try and silence Lenscap.
In the end it was the handsome check from The Spoof that persuaded Lenscape to shout:"Hey! Hey! They're real Monkees and they ain't just monkeying around!".
70's Pop Rocker Davy Jones,reputed uncle of lead guitarist of The Artic Monkeys said that he is contemplating suing the group for false representation: "I'll not be a monkey's uncle!"