February 8th 2007 was indeed a sad day around the world. Former Playboy bunny Anna Nicole Smith was found unconscious at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. CPR was administered and paramedics arrived shortly after. Anna Nicole Smith was pronounced dead at 2:49pm. Now, for the first time since her death, Kermit the Frog speaks of his whirlwind love affair with the former playmate.
To everyone else, Anna Nicole was a hard partying floosie. To Kermit the frog she was something else. "She was the real love of my life. Yeah sure, I've always "been" with Miss Piggy, but we just don't share that connection. It's mostly business. All I ever saw in her was big boobs and big blond hair! She was always flirting with everyone. Let's face it, she's a pig! With Anna I had that and more."
Kermit went on to tell me of the secret rendezvous they had on a weekly basis. "She just couldn't get enough the green if you know what I mean. She was almost ferocious. I loved the fire in her. When Anna called my lily pad and told me she was pregnant. I just knew I was the father. "We didn't use condoms. She told me that I was. I couldn't wait to see them again, but I will see my beautiful bunny no more."
Kermit became quite distraught as the interview went on and had to leave. So a spokesperson for Kermit issued this statement. "At this difficult time for Mr. Frog, I'd like to announce that he too will filing for a paternity test. According to what Anna Nicole confided in him days before her death, she never had intercourse with the other men, she only swallowed. So there is no reason to doubt Kermit's paternity."
The paternity hearing is February 20th 2007. At which time, Kermit will submit his request for him to have a DNA test to determine if he is indeed Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern's father. We at The Spoof wish you all the best Kermit.