In a sensational development that will rock the nation it has been officially announced that Big Brother is to be no more.
Speaking last night in an official statement from The John Baird pub, Lee Caswell self-professed psycho living in the well-known hard town of Muswell Hill, North London said, "I'm gonna axe your f*****g brother, howdy."
When asked which of my two brother he was going to axe, Caswell replied, "Your f*****g big brother, you w****r".
The fracas developed after I had accidentally bumped into Caswell at the bar. He was about to glass me in the face when I warned him that my brother would come looking for him and 'do' him and his sissy friends. It was then that Caswell made his shocking announcement before proceeding to smash said pint glass into my boat.