Colleen and Havinghurst Dawurst, sextraordinaire coupling sexperts have announced their divorce over irreconcilable differences.
Authors of numerous books, skin flicks and CEO'S of SexToysRUs gave a joint interview. After the smoke cleared, Colleen explained her position: "I'm tired of the gymnastics to tell you the truth. Can you imagine how annoying it gets to have to compete in the Sexsual Olympics, night after bloody night?!"
Havinghurst did not dispute Colleen's complaints: "I know 'Higher, Faster, Further' (the title of their latest marriage manual) is a challenge, but what does the darn dame want? Some fat old bus conductor who comes home, does his fifty yard dash, rolls over and snores? This woman doesn't know how good she's got it!"
Reporters, fans and curious gawkers were all surprised when the pornographic pair suddenly locked gazes.
"Would ya be my widdle, iddy-bitty bus conductor, Havey?" Colleen pouted.
"Only if you'll be my Olympian Amazon!" Shouted Havinghurst.
And off to the races they went. Higher, faster, further. Much to the tittilation of onlookers.