Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Friday, 9 February 2007

image for Britney Spears Arrested For Washington Courthouse "Scooter" Libby Protest
Spears - Just before her literal outburst

(Washington, D.C.) A new political awareness? Too much partying? Or a cocktail of both? Whatever the reason, no reporter complained about the view when Britney Spears publicly bore her breasts in support of former Dick Cheney aide Lewis "Scooter" Libby at his trail for obstruction of justice. The Pop Mom held up a sign that read: "Two good reasons to free Scooter", also arrested were her son, whom she recently renamed Lewis-Libby Sean Preston Spears. He did not bare his breasts.

Spears was vocal at an impromptu staged press conference held outside of the Washington, D.C. police station after her release. "First," said Spears, "they arrest me for exercising my Constitutional right of free speech by baring my breasts. Then, they call them indecent. You've seen them. Are they indecent? And remember, I had two kids." At this point, the gathered press broke into spontaneous applause. "And they're f*ckin' real," added Spears, "not like these charges against Scooter!"

Prior to her arrest, Spears had been holding a twenty-minute vigil at the White House, vowing not to leave until President Bush met with her on the charges against Libby or "until Paris flames me on the Sidekick to hit some party." A Sidekick message from Lindsay Lohan ended the vigil as Spears said, "for now."

At her press conference, Spears held up Lewis-Libby Sean Preston, whom she had her au-pair dress in an infant sized Washington, D.C. County Jail Orange jumpsuit by BabyGap. "Take a look. This is what Patrick Fitzgerald is doing to a man who is as innocent as my son." Lewis-Libby Sean Preston then threw-up on a reporter. "These charges make even him sick to his stomach, and he'll eat anything."

Spears vowed that she would continue her protest, baring whatever "smokin' hot body part I see fit until this man is again free to do whatever it is he didn't do that got him on trail in the first place." Spears then turned and pulled down her Juicy Couture judo pants to reveal a commando posterior view: "And Tim Russert can French kiss my winkie too."

Calls to Russert's office were unreturned, since immediately after seeing Spears on TV he jumped into a cab headed to the Washington, D.C. jail where she was taken after the "winkie" incident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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