Written by R. Mejia
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Wednesday, 31 January 2007

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Letterman - cool as a cucumber?

Clutching agitatedly at the rapidly thinning tuft of hair on the front of his head, David Letterman pronounced in the middle of last night's show, "I can't take it any more!"

He was referring of course to the never-ending parade of vapid celebrities he is compelled to exchange words with night after night. "If I have to sit patiently and stare at one more of you while you scramble to understand my dry humor, I think I will stab you in the eye with my pencil" he was heard to threaten not very obliquely; this after asking Jessica Alba for an analysis of the effects of the electronic revolution on modern society and watching her blink and giggle for 45 seconds straight.

Program directors have just released tonight's night's guest list: Roseanne Barr, Kathy Griffin and Paula Abdul (who promises she'll keep both eyes open for the entire interview).

Copyright 2007, R. Mejia

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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