Written by obz
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Topics: Health, Death, Drugs

Monday, 29 January 2007

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This shocked fan didn't believe it

The autopsy report for Frankie Weepspittle Barrecord Jones, former lead finger cymbal player for the Goth/Country band, Mornful Banjo was released today.

In a press conference at Mt.Hilltop hospital, Head Coroner, Dr. Even Stephens told reporters that prior to his death, Mr. Jones had ingested massive amounts of herion, cocaine, marijuana, diet pills, vodka, beer, some anchovies and a red painted toe nail.

Bert 'Stang, best friend of the deceased and third drummer for Mourful Banjo gave a statement that said prior to his death, Mr. Jones had exhibited violent behavior when in a fit of rage he tore a telephone book in half. One page at a time.

Ex-girlfriend Linda Linda in her statement to police said at the time Mr. Jones exhibited "crazy, sunglasses" eyes and was eating smelly food.

Dr. Stephens concluded that given the massive amounts of various drugs the man had taken, it might have killed him over time, or made him stronger and suggested that it was the graceful swan dive out of the 12th story window of his hotel room that probably ended Mr. Jones' brief career in the music industry.

Shocked fans remain in disbelief of nearly everything.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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