Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Celebrity Big Brother Danielle In Teddy Namechange Row

There was a sigh of relief today at West Ham's Upton Park ground, when Lloyd Daniel, the ex-girlfriend of Teddy Sheringham was officially dumped by the former England star.

Accusations of racism, bullying and racist bullying have been levelled at Daniel - who has a brain little bigger than the size of a pea - ever since Jade Goody's verbal attack on Indian striker Shilpa Shetty in the Big Brother house.

The Scouser, picked out of dozens of munters to be Miss Merseyside for a week, "farts like a trooper", and was becoming an embarrassment to Sheringham, who was being taunted every time he ran out onto a pitch.

This morning though, Miss Daniel was given the boot, and transferred to Bimbo United for the price of a taxi fare back home.

After jettisoning the bimbette, Sheringham decided to celebrate by putting an extra 'r' in his name.
Speaking to Harry Gration, he said "It's long owverdue. In fact, it's bin a bit ov a warry, 'arry".

Officials at Upton Park said the news of the name change was not a total surprise.

Sir Tremor Brookring, the club mascot, said "He was going to change it to Shetingham, in honour of Shilpa, but that would have sounded too much like Shittingham".

Ex-West Ham meathead, Julian Dricks, now just a meathead, said "I 'eard it wuz gonna be Shrekingham, cuz that'd a bin fanny, na mean?"

The last laugh went to TS himself though, who won't be troubling the shirt printers; his surname stays the same, but he now wants to be known as "Terddy".

West Ham will be relegated soon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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