Written by Dan Barash
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Monday, 29 January 2007

image for Oprah Announces Chicago Yellow Pages is New Book Club Pick
Once you get past the P's, it's hard to put down.

Oprah Winfrey announced today that the Chicago suburban Yellow Pages is her next book club pick. This is her first book club selection since James Frey's controversial "A Million Little Pieces" last year. Frey's book was presented as a tortured memoir of addiction, but was exposed as total fiction when it was learned that Frey had never ingested anything stronger than a latte.

The Yellow Pages is clearly grounded as non-fiction, and Oprah hopes there will be no surprises with bogus phone numbers or restaurants that are really massage parlors.

The Chicago suburban Yellow Pages runs to nearly 900 pages, which may explain why so many people have started reading it but few have finished. Yet many readers eagerly await each annual new edition.

Many of Oprah's fans are eager to learn more about her adopted hometown. "I've always been fascinated with Chicago," said Mary Smythe of Waco Texas, "I hear they have over 1200 gas stations!"

Oprah is confident her readers are up to this challenge. "It's somewhat lacking in plot," she said, "but it makes up for that with an enormous cast of characters and venues."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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