Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 26 January 2007

image for New Broadway musical of Federline's 'unpleasant and demeaning' marriage
Some scenes could be as unpleasant as this one

Broadway, NY - (Rioters): Kevin Federline's hamburger restaurant TV ad where he slams marriage to his cutesey over-exposed attention-seeking ex-wife Britney as 'unpleasant and demeaning' is to be made into a new Broadway musical according to latest showbiz reports.

In the ad K-Fed bemoans his nuptual career in a series of virtuoso arias reminiscent of the epic paens of Johann Strauss's celebrated opera Die Fledermaus, but with a modern twist given the burgers, fries and minimum hourly wage rate.

The musical is set in a typical Hell's Kitchen greasy-spoon burger joint and opens with Federline in reflective lyrical mood as he clutches a divorce lawyer's writ banning him from entering the former matrimonial home and ordering an immediate alimony payment of half a million dollars to his capricious soon-to-be-ex.

The US catering industry is keen to sponsor the new Broadway production which starts auditioning for the cast of leading players/singers next week.

However, rumors that the lead role of wife Britney will entail stark scenes of nudity, depravity and husband-abuse may put off leading contenders for the star role who could deplore the idea of graphic simulated sex scenes, drunkenness and matrimonial loudmouthing as genuinely inauthentic to the musical genre, and demand that the term 'simulated' be cut from the contractual documents.

But K-Fed's lawyers are having none of that. And neither is Federline himself who has described the move as a cunning ruse by his ex to placate him with some freebie ass at the expense of is artistic integrity and wholesome, manly family-guy public image.

A preview of the musical will be shown on February 4th in a series of TV commercials during the Super Bowl.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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