Written by Duff
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Topics: TV, Soap Opera, Booze

Thursday, 25 January 2007

image for "My Booze Hell" By Top Soap Star
Jim McFoibles just after we'd loaned him a fiver last night

Troubled star, Jim McFoibles, has admitted today that he is back on the drink again and fears for his own future.

It was thought that McFoibles was on the up and up and was looking forward to a new starring role in top Scottish Soap, The Bonny Blooming Heather. But sadly now this looks unlikely as the show's top brass have had crisis meetings to discuss developments.

A spokesman for BBC Scotland told us:

"I warned them that Jim was a complete piss-artist and couldn't be trusted but they were having none of it. Scripts have been written and God knows what the hell we're going to do now. He'll never work for us again"

But sad Jim was last night hanging onto a slim hope.

"I'll get mahself straight again so I will. This will only be a temporary thing. I can beat the booze. You couldn't spare a fiver for a cup of tea could you?"

We asked top addiction expert, Dr Melvyn Melvyn, for his candid assessment and he told us:

"This guy is the typical delusional alco. He hasn't a chance and is washed up"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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