Written by King David
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Topics: Library, Rabbits

Monday, 22 January 2007

image for Spoof Bus Breaks Down; Delusional Writers Fear The Worst
Spoof Bus Stranded Somewhere Between Albequerque and Amarillo

Out on a lonely stretch of highway somewhere in the middle of the New Mexican desert, somewhere in a song by Lowell George, or 70's pop rock group "America," Spoof reporters say that their bus broke down, leaving them stranded. They weren't told when their magic bus would be running again. But mechanic and driver, Mark Lowton and his brother, Paul were said to be doing their best working on the problem and would notify everyone when the problem was fixed.

Meanwhile, all the writers were stranded at a Holiday Inn Express somewhere in the desert between Albuquerque and Amarillo, Texas off of Interstate 40 trying not to get in one anothers hair and having to focus on something other than ratings, namely the writer's themselves.

They were said to be passing time pow-wowing on the forum and playing high-stakes poker which became violent after the J-man lost everything over several days, including his family and marriage bed and threatened everyone that if he did not get his money and family back by midnight he would resort to farting dust.

"No! No! No! No! cried the other players. Please don't resort to doing that! We'll give it all back, J-man. We promise!"

And so J-man sensing opportunity upped the anti to $1,000 a head.

"If you don't want me to begin farting dust, you will each give me $1,000 a piece in addition to my family," he said.

Fellow Spoof writer's didn't take him seriously at first and blamed it on Wendy's and Subway sandwiches constantly. Later, they could smell that he was serious, but thanks to Spoof union negotiator, Gnarley Eric and his no non-sense negotiating skills they were able to talk him down to a penny a person.

Then, a foul conspiracy wind began circulating amongst the writers that the bus had really broken down as a result of tampering by individuals connected to the President, or a Muslim extremist organization offended by one of the writer's stories.

That's when panic struck and caused all writers to go back and review frantically their last stories, combing them for evidence that they may have offended someone and been thrown off the site, seeing the dreaded words, "Your Ip's been BANNED from this website."

"Yep, I thought I was banned," said writer, "politicalpop." "I searched Myspace for zombified Spoof writers stumbling into each other, traumatised, but everyone's like that on Myspace. I left after bawling: 'Who's your commanding officer?' many times to silence."

Other Spoof writers reported suffering PTS (Post Traumatic Spooflessness), or feeling like they had lost a loved one.

Asia Babe didn't take any chances and barricaded herself in her room:

"I thought my story of Saddam and the 34 virgins got our bus driver and mechanic, Mark in trouble. I could only imagine some Muslim extremist holding a gun to his head as he breaks down and reveals the IP address of the writer. Mark, in his cowardice, manages to find out my room number and send the extremist to my room! Therefore, I barricaded myself in my room last night with three guns, 500 rounds of ammunition, some grenades and suicide pills just in case one of them got past the land mines and broke into my place. I was prepared to go out in a hail of gunfire and glory! Now, they tell me that it was just a flat tire!"

All writers were reported resting snugly in their own beds tonight while dreaming of the wicked witch of the East screaming "I'm melting! I'm melting!" and seeing their scores on the Top 20 Spoofwriter's list, diminished.

But they still had their stories, each one had a story...."And I've been from Tucson to Tucumcari, Tehatchapi to Tonapah....Driven every kind of rig that's ever been made....even a magic Spoof bus."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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