Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 17 January 2007

image for Carphone Whorehouse threatens to quit Celebrity Big Brother sponsorship
Reality TV has just got slaggier

London - (Rotters): Channel 4's reality show Celebrity Big Brother is under threat of sponsorship withdrawal from wannabe mobile brothel pioneer Carphone Whorehouse after contestants were accused of racist bullying tactics of a Bollywood soap queen.

Frantic Labour Party string-pulling even saw that the matter was raised at Prime Mobster's PMT time in the House of Commons today thus ensuring the show even greater exposure on UK prime time later tonight.

And now UK Chancellor Gordon Brown has hot-footed it to India for a spectacular sound-bite and photo-op session and has slammed the abusive behavior as opportunist slander tactics.

The row is centred on several loud-mouthed old slags lampooning a fellow housemate's accent and suggesting her slender body was the result of e-coli induced bulimia.

TV standards regulator Ofcom has been inundated with over 15,000 viewers' complaints that there was nothing remotely entertaining about the whole business and that the matter could be easily settled with a traditional all-girl cat-fight off-stage, off-camera and off-with-her-head.

Meanwhile Blair's Number Ten policy stink tank is rubbing its hands with glee at the prospect of some serious headline milking in a new-found revival of its holier-than-thou public image.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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