Makers of the once mighty TV show, Celebrity BogBrother, where millions of contestants have to remain in peat-filled bogs for a million years putting up with each others cravings, insults and bad hygiene, have admitted concerns that approximately one fifth of all humans in the last six thousand years are currently alive.
A spokesman for Endemall, Ms Penny Forthright, said,
'We believe these figures for the world population were obtained before the current show got so bad. It's causing quite a stink with even Ghandi being exhumed to comment on it, as he's all wiv got left.'
Tony Blair, who is currently awaiting his final meal before being embalmed on the show, blamed media speculation that the show was 'a heap of utter shite' for the fact that viewers were still living in droves.
'I waited, you know, ten years for this moment, and I find it hard to believe that anyone is still alive out there. It's the pinnacle of my career to get down with Gloria Hunniford in a peat bog to be preserved for eternity wearing nothing but a thong. Watch me go, kids.'
Figures show that one fifth of all humans in the last six thousand years who are currently alive, are alive because they never watched the show.
Endemall will have to act soon if it wants to complete its earth depopulation programme via its programme Celebrity BogBrother. Rumours are that in an effort to kill more of us off, Jade Goody will be returning to the BogBrother cesspit household soon.