Written by Fife Peterson
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Topics: Music, Pop

Tuesday, 16 January 2007

image for Pop's Easy Says Industry Expert
Gracey works in a chip shop most days but her debut single "Fizzflop" is currently riding high in at No. 50 in the charts

Ever dreamt of being a popstar? Singing other people's songs to thousands of brain dead, screaming middle aged bored house wives? According to music expert Paul Gamblerachino it's never been easier. Even the chart rules have changed so any unsigned act can enter the chart through download sales, or major label can buy a chart placing.

History was made this Sunday when the first unsigned band ever entered the UK charts at number 300. Tom Bland of the band, The Bibbins is overwhelmed. "We can't believe it, one minute we were a middle of the road pub band, now we are a middle of the road pub band in the charts! Cut me me another line..."

Pop mogul & shamed sex offender Johnathan King, manager of The Bibbins says it's all down to their raw sex appeal. "The Bibbins are amazing boys, they'd do anything to be famous... And have!" Its thought all you need now to 'make it' is 30,000 friends, a song & itunes. Major label EMI has closed it's doors.

Spokesperson Bob Thompson explains, "No point now, you don't need a label, we've dropped Coldplay, Radiohead & the rest of our catalogue. What's the point if a pub band can chart that highly? Who needs a label".

Watch out for ITV's series, 'how to be a Pop Star' which follows 3 hopeful acts from working in burger bars to the dizzy heights of chart success. Presented by serial 'i want a rock star boyfriend' Ferne Cotton, the programme looks set to revolutionise the art of making it!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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