London - (Ass Mess): A waxwork model of Britney Spears at Madam Tussaud's Museum in London was reported today to be weeping tears of blood after a protracted internet satire soap opera lampooning the singer's underwear amnesia incident diminished her image to a gynaecological orifice walk-on part in the global pantheon of comedy.
Curators at the Baker Street waxworks immediately called in their design specialists to test for red-dye trickery but a haematologist from the UK's National Transfusion Unit confirmed that the substance trickling from the model's eyes was real blood.
The exhibit was cordoned off amid fears of imminent press intrusion and a hurried call made to the Archbishop of Canterbury's miracle verification department for guidance in the fiasco.
"Are there any stigmata?" was the main worry from Rowan Williamson's office as museum staff rummaged for a dictionary before confirming the waxwork's hands, feet, side and other vital, feminine parts appeared to be intact and non-bleeding.
Eventually everybody breathed a sigh of relief as it was established that the waxwork was only crying and not in the middle of a full-flung PMT-busting period.
There has been no word from the singer herself today about this incident but a pop-up on her official website warns fans to be wary of cheap cracks at her reputation which may be coming from show-biz sources jealous of her popularity.
Madonna is 49.