Written by President Bush
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Sunday, 14 January 2007

image for Lucas: 'There's a Star Wars You've Not Seen'

True to his word George Lucas has not filmed any NEW episodes of the epic Sci-Fi adventure Star Wars. However, Jade Magazine says that during the filming of
the original Star Wars movie Lucas secretly simultaneously filmed Star Wars Episode XXX and hid it in a vault all these years. After the Jade article broke Lucas came clean and told reporters,

"It started out as a practical joke, the main actors filming secret scenes that nobody else on the set knew about. I in fact manned the cameras. I'd like to thank Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford and of course ChewBacca for keeping this secret SECRET all these years."

When asked why he named the episode "XXX" Lucas, distantly reticent as usual simply replied,

"Well, XXX is not a Star Wars you'd take the kids to see. I'd not take mine."

The original Star Wars blockbuster grossed over 290 million dollars and today is still one of the most heavily KAZAA'd illegal downloads on the Internet.

"I wanted to keep this thing secret until the year 2012" Lucas said. When asked why THAT year he said,

"I think by 2012 FCC ratings systems will be a little bit looser. I never have nor ever will release an X rated movie. Besides, I have enough money as it is. Enough to last me until 2012 you'd think."

With Jade Magazine's shocking discovery the rumor mill is working overtime with even Jay Leno commenting,

"What. What? What the heck's IN that Star Wars movie and where can I get a copy (rim-shot)"

Neither Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford OR Chewbacca were available for comment. Yoda did speak with reporters but not being IN the film he himself knew nothing about Star Wars, episode XXX.

Make President Bush's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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