London - (Rioters): Will (he) or won't (he)? Will they or won't they?.... That is the question celebrity spread-yer-legs betting site Aintgottaprayer.com is asking everybody to pour their hard earned cash into as royal engagement speculation is drummed up to fever pitch this weekend by the paparazzi, their UK sponsors Woolworths mug department and Halo! magazine.
But what do the stars say for Will and Kate?
Well, astrologers have been bending over backwards to make a killing on this one and so far not a single crap-infested article has managed to point out that predicting holy matrimony for yet another House of Von Battenberg patently gay male to some wannabe royal icon plonkette stands the remotest chance of ever making it in the heterosexual matrimony stakes.
But in the traditionally bleak and broke month of January it sells copy when not much else will. And the poor stick-insect girl is at least getting some attention which must up her credit rating enough to be able to afford to pay off those pesky Xmas coke debts and start buying some new clothes, somewhere other than at dreary old Top Crotch.