Written by bigd
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Wednesday, 10 January 2007

image for Big Brother housemate Jake Tweed is not a mute
They got me! I mean...oh shit!

Hertfordshire (England) - Concerns have been pouring in from the viewing public, to the producers of Celebrity Big Brother (CBB) for the lack of speech from Jack Tweed, boyfriend of Jade Goody.

Vocal coaches and medical doctors were called in by CBB privately for an emergency session with Jack Tweed fearing Aphonia (a condition that renders one with the inability to speak). It can now be confirmed that the tests were negative. Jack Tweed broke down and cried and made a startling confession to the specialists.

He claims - he is unable to speak in the presence of his girlfriend Jade and her mother Jackiey due to fear of embarrassing them on TV. Mr. Tweed claims that under a signed contract agreement he is to play dumb and not permitted to utter any word or sentence in public which would otherwise and inevitably undermine the vocabulary challenged daughter and mother pair, who are currently terrorizing, butchering and murdering their way through the English language without remorse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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