Written by Fife Peterson
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Wednesday, 10 January 2007

image for George Michael: "Drugged up? Me? No Way"
"Drugs? No Officer that's dried fig leaves"

George Michael has denied claims he was drugged up at the wheel of his car again last night.

The offences date back to before Christmas where he was found slumped at the wheel of his car at a set of traffic lights in Cricklewood, London. Police at the time believed him to be unfit to drive but in an exclusive interview with The Star Newspaper, Michael, 43, explained: "I was merely looking for a Murray mint that I'd dropped by my feet, my head was resting on the steering wheel as I blindly fumbled away".

Police are are now convinced Michael is innocent & totally "telling the truth". Experts have after months of detailed statements & research, uncovered that it was only a 'herbal air-freshener fragrence' coming from Mr. Michael's car & he was 'barely visible due to 'fog' inside his car.

George Michael has had a colourful past, previously in trouble with the police for 'sherbet' related offences, showing his lollipop to an undercover Police officer & being found in possession of flying saucers.

He is expected to make a full statement today (12noon) & is "relieved" he won't be vilified like other fallen stars.

Michael Barrymore is said to be "livid".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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