Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Disney

Monday, 8 January 2007

image for Tigger Slaps Teenager at Disneyland
Kermit is tired of getting asked if he's ever porked Miss Piggy

Tigger, the bouncey, flouncey, full of fun fun fun, tiger character from the Winnie the Pooh cartoons, slapped a teenage boy this weekend at Disneyland.

When asked why he would hit a park patron, the seven foot tall tiger explained that "Uhhh Hoo Hoo! He hit on me and stuff! He wanted to know if he could see my p---y, and I'm a boy tigger. Tigger's don't have to put up with that kind of stuff from nobody."

"When I find a young lady or a rabbit or fat little gay bear that I want to bounce, I don't go up and ask straight out if I can see that part of her! Maybe the kid was trying to make an old cat joke, but it was insulting and not very funny."

"I asked the ladies from the Aristocats if they think it's funny, and they said that they hear it to often and are glad that I reacted the way I did."

"People are always asking Snow White if they can check out her diamond mine. They want to know what's under Ariel's seashells or ask her what smells fishy. They tell Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) that they want to get beastly with her. They tell Jasmine that they'll give her a magic carpet ride. They tell Sleeping Beauty that she can spend 100 years in their bed. They tell Bo Peep (from Toy Story) that they'd like to give her a Buzz with their Woody. They tell Cinderella that they have something they'd like to slip 'er. Lady is asked if she'd be a Tramp for them. Maid Marian is always getting asked if she'd get foxy in their hood. Purdita, the mom in 101 Dalmations, is always asked if she likes to do it doggie style. The Disney girls are always getting asked the same lame, stupid questions by horny teens and men who think they're intelligent. It's about time one of those jerks got what was coming to him!"

While the family is planning on suing the Disney corporation and the character, Tigger is going to hire a lawyer and countersue. "I was verbally abused. It is sexual harrassment in the work place, and I don't have to take it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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