Rosie O'Donnell has been mysteriously absent from the View the last couple of days. The absence coincidentally coincides with a much publicized argument with Donald Trump.
Barbara Walters producer of the View contends, Rosie is on a scheduled vacation with her life partner and children. This is in no way related to the Trump situation.
Donald Trump says Rosie is getting axed from her position at the View for her self absorbed, pompous attitude and being stupid, unattractive, fat, gross, evil, and dumb in general.
This reporter has learned the truth behind Rosie's disappearance.
Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell have gone to a bed and breakfast in Connecticut to elope. There's growing speculation Rosie may be in a motherly way.
It seems "The Donald", just loves someone he can brow beat and degrade to the level of embarrassment publicly on a regular basis.
Rosie, unaccustomed to being put in her place by men, has been looking all her life for a man strong enough to overcome her own manly tendencies, and sweep her off her feet. Donald is providing the broom.
"Trump knocked Rosie for a loop", said one insider, "blasted her right out of lesbian and blew her directly into heterosexual. She didn't even get a breath at bisexual to gather her thoughts."
The unlikely couple is honeymooning somewhere in Manhattan but are in hiding from paparazzi for obvious reasons.
Brad Pitt has stood up claiming the rumored child is the result of an affair he and Rosie had and recently broke off.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Jan 4 2007