Written by Mussy
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Topics: Sex, Harry Potter

Wednesday, 3 January 2007

image for Harry Potter & The Den Of Vice
A pre pubescent Harry Potter - when he was just a boy!

J.K. Rowling has revealed that she intends to write an "adults only" edition of the popular Harry Potter series, to follow the last in the children's episodes, which is to be released before Christmas 2007.

Ms Rowling has yet to release the title of the book but has dropped some hints as to it's story line. Speaking exclusively to The Spoof early this week she said " I really wanted to explore the transition of Harry and Ron into young adults and develop their characters into what most men grow in to - beer drinking, sex addicts. I thought it would be interesting to see how the boys would adapt their knowledge of the black arts in the bedroom environment".

The story, which will shock avid followers of the Harry Potter series, will have a loose sub-plot about Potter and Weasley finishing their sixth-form studies and going out on a drunken rampage with wands erect. But they are seduced into a den of vice and class A drugs by an evil pimp, who turns out to be Lord Voldermort's even eviller, sadistic brother.

Asked what antics the boys get up to, Rowling explains "I've put them in a position where they can experiment with their own sexuality and make choices when presented with the temptations all young men face - I wanted it to be as close to life as I could make it".

The Catholic Church have reacted angrily to the news however, when told of one of the central scenes in the book. The scene involves a hallucination by Potter who has been drinking fifteen pints and taken three acid tabs, who sees a vision of the pope being blown off by the Virgin Mary. The Pope's genitals are represented by a serpent - Harry is most surprised when he begins to have a conversation with the serpent using his "parcel tongue" special powers.

Warner Brothers have yet to make an official comment on a film version of the new book. However, a source revealed yesterday, "of course we're looking forward to working with J.K. on all aspects of the Harry Potter story. We've discussed with Alfonso CuarĂ³n who directed the last film, whether it will be technically possible to recreate a scene where thirteen wizards fly round a brothel watching two prostitutes have sex with a man-sized toad, an alligator and a donkey - and he's looking forward to the challenge - with CGI, anything's possible!"

As yet, there is no confirmation of reports of a Harry Potter sex doll being available as part of the franchise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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