Written by bigd
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Tuesday, 2 January 2007

image for Cocaine prices boosted by marriage of Pete Doherty and Kate Moss
No - Not that coke!

The Cocaine industry is celebrating the marriage of cocaine induced couples Pete Doherty and Kate Moss. Soon after the marriage announcement was made, the price of the coco plant quadrupled on the London and New York stock exchange.

Speaking via a satellite phone from somewhere in the jungles of Colombia, the unified cocaine conglomerate of the Medellin and Cali cartel spokesman identified only as Escobar was delighted at the news of union between the two celebrities, "Dis iz a muncho grande news, and good for our bizines", in a heavy Spanish-accented English.

Supermodel Kate Moss popularly dubbed cocaine Kate and Babyshambles frontman cocaine addict Pete Doherty held the ceremony on New Year's Day in the Thai resort of Phuket, which was followed with controversy and scandal. The marriage ceremony was finalized after the couple sniffed their necklace vials of some white colored powder soon after both declared their 'I Do's'. The marriage ceremony was officiated by Hollywood actor turned priest Robert Downey Jr. who immediately after the marriage ceremony was arrested by Thai Police for possession of heroin, cocaine, crack, LSD, ecstasy and marijuana. He is currently in a Thai jail.

Within hours after the marriage, our international sources have confirmed the street price for cocaine and crack tripled in London, New York and Los Angeles.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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