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Saturday, 30 December 2006

image for Carol's Number Could Be Up
I'll have a 'P' please Bob

Brainy bird, Carol Vorderman, is today rumoured to be taking her maths A Level in an attempt to scotch the story, going round like wild-fire on the internet, saying that she uses times tables off-camera to work out the numbers problems on Countdown.

Co-star Des Lynham said:

"Yes that's right I'm the housewives totty all right. You should see what they send me through the post and all. Some of it is very suggestive indeed"

And Carol herself issued the following statement:

I refute the allegation that I am not in fact a top brainy bint. I can do multiplication, addition, subtraction and division...so there! I have had to issue this statement 3 times in the last 6 months alone, making a total of 21 times in all and I'm getting fed up of it"

We spoke to Mr. Baggins here old maths teacher who told us:

"I can't really remember much about Carol to tell you the truth and haven't a clue what she was like at maths"

Doris Boggles who works in Vorderman's local newsagent said:

"She always gets in a right muddle paying her paper bill"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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