Written by Lorenzo Lee
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Topics: Tom Cruise, Hospital

Friday, 5 December 2003

American Superstar Tom Cruise has been cured of Dyslexia, Tokyo General Hospital announced recently.

Apparently, the star, who spent considerable amount of time in Japan shooting his latest film, "The Last Samurai," can now read perfectly without aid from anyone else.

In the course of Cruise's deep research into the film which involved learning Nipponggo (the Japanese language), "something miraculous happened. Suddenly I could read anything Japanese. The local newspapers, the script, the beer labels, everything," Mr. Cruise, beaming his million dollar smile, said. "My tutor was totally blown away."

That being noted, Cruise still finds difficulty in the English language. "That's probably why me and Nicole (Kidman) couldn't work things out. Never mind. I've found my calling," he remarked. "I hear the beer ads here pay a lot! And think of the marketing possibilities!"

Apparently Cruise was referring to his new film to begin shooting this week, entitled "Show Me The Money," to be filmed entirely in the Japanese language.

It will be remembered that in the 90's, Cruise revealed to the world his disease, which inspired millions of people around the world to become Hollywood box-office superstars, examples of which include The Rock, Shaquille O' Neal, to name a few.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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