Written by President Bush
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Topics: Beyonce Knowles

Thursday, 28 December 2006

image for Ashley Simpson to Appear in Dreamgirls 2
Jessica Simpson going "No way .. really? Nawww LOL!"

Beyonce who dropped 20 pounds for her blockbuster role in Dreamgirls went "Oh no she's NOT" after learning that producers, now working on Dreamgirls 2 were considering adding Jessica's lip-syncing little sister Ashley to the mix. Director Bill Condon says that Ashley in the new movie will NOT become part of the singing trio. She will instead remain a backup, just in case something should happen to Beyonce or one of the other Dreamgirls.

Ashley Simpson, chagrined last year after doing a Granny Clampett "Hoe Down" dance after she got caught lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live says that she'll lip-sync no more in the new movie if they please please pretty please hire her. Ashley's multi-talented sister Jessica told reporters,

"Well .. she CAN sing. In a strange kind of Darth Vader type Kermit the Frog sort of way so I guess she'll pass as a Dreamgirl. As long as she doesn't have to open her mouth or dance or anything she's good to go lol."

Dreamgirls taking Hollywood by storm has both Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy pondering alternate singing careers, Foxx a musical prodigy himself saying,

"It was an honor to perform with Beyonce and Eddie even though Eddie called me a .. well, you'll have to rent the DVD when it comes out to hear but Eddie's got some personal problems I hope he works out before filming begins."

Eddie Murphy, responding to Foxx's comments "blew it off", let bygones be bygones and according to some insiders simply "channeled" his anger by slashing all four tires on Jamie Foxx's Mercedes Benz.

Jay-Z, Beyonce's betrothed, wedding bells still pending told reporters that he didn't mind seeing Beyonce kiss those other guys in the movie going on to say that it better not happen again in Dreamgirls 2 if Beyonce knows, in a hip-hop sort of bang-bang kind of Boyz 'N da HOOD sorta way what's good for her.

Ashley Simpson, unavailable for comment was according to sources practicing her scales, brushing up on her Granny Clampett Hoe Down moves and hoping the folks behind Dreamgirls 2 don't discover the sad truth that she, Ashley Simpson can't sing a lick let alone dance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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