Written by President Bush
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Thursday, 28 December 2006

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Reverend Paris's Church of Erotic Joy - BYOB

Nichole Richie described it as "freaky". Paris Hilton, now a partially ordained Minister of the Church of Erotic Joy, is telling people how to not get to Heaven, but instead how to stay out of Hell. She says they can do this by knowing the right "fine print" to read and to have a decent attorney.

Reverend Hilton, still learning the ropes about "this religion thing", explained to her congregation that God Himself approves of friskiness and naughtiness - how else could Adam and Eve have populated an entire planet with 6 billion people if they hadn't been a TAD bit "naughty"? Hilton in her first sermon explained:

"You know, stuff seems wrong sometime but when you do stuff right stuff feels kind of good can I get an AMEN choir help me out here" to which the crowd yelled

"AMEN Reverend Paris!!" Reverend Hilton then, opening her own customized version of what she calls "The Bibe" turned to the book of Joy and read thus ..

"And lo an Angel from Dish Network's After-Dark-Channel appeared to La Kisha saying, La KISHA .. La KISHA .. call the Dish Network give them your Visa number and EXPERIENCE .. the erotic JOY so predestined to you before the beginning of time."

Critics of Reverend Paris and her ministry (being just about everyone) pointed out that Hilton had neither a license to preach or even the knowledge of where her REAL bible written by God Himself even was. Hilton was quick to respond with:

"I DO know I DO know where my real bible is. In fact I have 2 of them. One holds up the left leg of the dinner table the other the right leg", Reverend Hilton going on to point out to all her critics

"Unless I have dinner guests in which case, I have to go buy two additional bibles, can't have a wobbly table for the love of Joy"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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