Written by Frogmarsh Peterson
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Topics: Radio, Award

Friday, 5 December 2003

image for Gatswasm honours 'pixel man'
Charlie Plowman, when he realised he'd won the award

GATSWASM, KNT VLLY- Despite suffering a rare condition known as Bollschitts Pixelation Syndrome, Charlie Plowman has won an award for Gatswasm's best local radio presenter.

Charlie first became famous among the residents of Gatswasm when he was born.

"The doctors were baffled, they'd never seen anything like this before... of course his mother was pretty freaked, she was screaming for an exorcism or something" - Philomena Fattbottam, retired Mid-wife, Gatswasm and Tampham maternity hospital.

Charlie suffered many problems during his teenage years when he was wrongfully accused almost daily of being that crim off of last night's Crimestoppers.

Charlie's first experience with radio was when he broadcasted a shopping list he'd just made up to the people of the Kant Valley and district. He'd fashioned a coathanger car battery thing to transmit the signal, apparently.

Today, Charlie (or 'pixel man' as locals know him) is a familiar sound on many a Gatwasm wireless. His cheeky mix of lewd sauciness and topical debate went down a treat with listeners.

Gatswasm's residents fondly remember his infamous interview with Joan Bakewell, after which she burst into tears because she couldn't stand his arrogance, sordidness and visage (as she put it.)

"His pixels, his pixels, they were menacing" - She said in a subsequent interview with Jade Goody.

Charlie is said to be thrilled with the 17 ft brass microphone he won as his prize.
"It's going in my back garden next to the pond and 13 ft gnome" - Said Charlie.

Charlie hopes that other presenters with facial 'conditions' will be encouraged to make it big time in radio. If not then the circus or something... or even in to movies like that Liza Minelli.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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