Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Hilary Duff

Saturday, 23 December 2006

image for Hilary Duff Now a Barbie Doll
G.I. Joes rush under the Christmas tree to find the new Hilary Duff Barbie

Wanna-be singer, media icon, and self proclaimed actress Hilary Duff is the latest to be immortalized with her own Barbie Doll. Features for the new Hilary Barbie include plastic expressions during acting scenes, easily removable clothing, hair that can change color at the drop of a hat, and no singing voice.

Mattel corporate spokesman Hal Young said that "We considered giving her no panties, as most little girls tend to lose the doll underwear and leave them naked anyway, but decided to leave them on in case we ever decided to make a Britney doll."

The new toy is on store shelves now, though a little late for the big Christmas shopping rush. "We kind of hope that people will think of this as a last minute gift idea. After all, Hilary is sort of a "B" list actress, and once everything else is picked over in the stores, we think that the doll will be one of the last things left. Kind of goes together, doesn't it?"

The Hilary doll will be perfectly compatible with the Ken doll and all little boy's action figures, including Superman, G.I. Joe, sports figureines, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Batman, and others. The dolls, however, should not be left together too long as the Hilary doll is fickle and will not play too long with any one partner.

In the free accessory kit that comes with the doll, little girls will receive a free Aids test kit toy, free home pregnancy test kit toy, free toy condoms and IUD, free fake bikini wax coupon, and a notebook with "I hate Britney, Lindsay, Shakira, and Christina" stickers. Purchasers will also receive a coupn for a free copy of Duff's not so mega hit latest album and a DVD of Lizzie Maguire's greatest hits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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