Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 23 December 2006

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Gong for Bongo

Blarney Castle, Dublin - (Ass Mess): The Irish Embassy in Dublin has claimed today that the musician Bongo is to receive an honorary knighthood from the Queen in the New Year's Honors List for his inhumanitarian work in the music industry.

The Irish drummer from world-famous band U 2Boat hails originally from Shergar, County Louse, was nominated by former music talent spotter Lord Levy and received the traditional nod from the PM when a letter from Downing Street arrived last week saying: "You have tirelessly used your voice to make me look good at the G8 meeting in Glen Vultures last year and this has been a blessing."

The embassy said the agreement of the Irish government was bought with the customary industry backhanders that were recently in the news featuring former Irish Prime Monster Charles Haughey's lifetime sponsorship by the Saudi Arabian oil industry.

Bongo will not be able to use the title 'Sir' however because like Bob Geldof, Bill Gates, Colon Bowel, Placido Domingo and Steven Spielberg before him, he is not a UK national and has not personally given enough money to the Labour Party in the traditional cash-for-peerages arrangement first started by the Tories.

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