Written by Ben Macnair
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Sunday, 31 December 2017

image for Lempit Opik to give Donald Trump careers advice
I ain't afraid of no Penguins

Beanpole, former stand up comedian, harmonica and spoon player, politician and surprisingly popular with the ladies, Lempit Opik is to give Donald Trump careers advice.

In January 2018, Donald Trump will be taking lessons in re-invention from Madonna, guidance in spoon bending from Uri Geller, lessons in how to hold a government together from Teresa May, and Tea spilling lessons from Opik, as well as Bacon Sandwich eating lessons from Ed Milliband.

Trump said: 'I am taking lessons from the full table of talents. These are all good people. The best people. Quality People, and who better to learn from, then the people who have already made the mistakes I will no doubt make in 2018'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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