Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Tuesday, 19 December 2006

image for Paris Hilton To Eat Ice Cream Cone in 2007!
They're going to love Paris eating a Baskin & Robbins ice cream cone

Los Angeles--CA) Super Bowl fans will get a treat this year, at least those who liked Paris Hilton eating a Carl's Jr. burger. "They're going to love Paris eating a Baskin & Robbins ice cream cone," so says Baskin & Robbins Senior Vice President of Cone Brand Management, Charles "Chuck" Tannert. Tannert was sold "even before she had both lips wrapped around a scoop of traditional vanilla."

And focus groups seem to bear him out. In a control of two male groups, aged 13-34, separately shown the Carl's Jr. and Baskin & Robbins spots, each having the products in front of them, the male group shown the Paris Robbins spot had a cholesterol count of 500, while the Carl's spot barely registered a 350. "I'm not saying Carl's is an inferior nutritional value," Tannert was quick to add. "But even I look at that spot, and man--I just want ice cream!" Between "power eating" Jamoca Almond Fudge and before having a stroke, one of the focus group participants seemed to agree, simply saying: "Holy (expletive)! She's (expletive) a friggin' ice cream cone."

The spot is set to air three times during the game. But the spot wasn't without controversy. Tannert admitted. "Originally, Paris was going to be doing a vanilla cone, but Jesse Jackson and his Rainbow Coalition threatened to boycott Baskin & Robbins because of the racist implication. We were going to strike a compromise by having chocolate sprinkles, but the sound guy had issues. It looked like a melt down--HA. Get it? Until Paris, herself, stepped in. She just said: 'No. I want chocolate.' Now, based on that, I defy anyone to tell me she's just a dumb blond."

Rumors that Carl's Jr. is offering a mid seven-figure deal to use Paris' tongue as the pole for a MTV 2007 Daytona Spring Break Onion Ring toss event have yet to be confirmed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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