Written by SeanFallon
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

After Taylor Swift was allegedly sexually assaulted by a radio DJ who lost his job over her claim about it, that DJ tried to sue her, claiming that the sexual assault never happened. Taylor Swift countersued for one dollar, and was awarded that dollar in court. What initially felt like a victory for Taylor Swift, however, would soon become a financial setback.

Taylor Swift's dollar is actually going to cost her nearly $30,000, because it boosted her total earnings up into the next tax bracket, requiring a significantly higher percentage of her gross income to go towards the government for worthless causes that Ms. Swift does NOT support. She is quoted as saying, "This obnoxiousness from the government is repulsive, but not nearly as abhorrent as David Mueller's sexual assault against me. I encourage every woman who gets sexually violated to report the matter, and sue the jerk who did it. No one has the right to violate you that way! If you can not afford to prosecute, I will help you out! We need to unite together against sexual assault of all kind."

David Mueller, the alleged perpetrator continues to insist upon his innocence, claiming that Taylor Swift fabricated the entire story.

Taylor Swift offered the following response to him, "Someday, I'll be living in a big old city, and all you're ever gonna be is mean, and a liar, and pathetic."

Make SeanFallon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 5?

4 10 8 17
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more