Written by Purple Girl
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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

image for Prominent 80's rappers hold press conference apologizing for early hits
Rappers hold a press conference as reporters and fans watch.

[PP] -- Cool Man, Smooth G, and other prominent rappers of the 80's held a press conference apologizing for their early hits.

"I am embarrassed that I took this stage name," said Cool Man. "We thought we were cool back in the day, but we were really only spitting in the microphone and shouting profanities."

"We weren't that smooth either," said Smooth G. "We rapped about poppin' the police and killin' each other. We were quite angry with the world."

It is true, urban music has improved over the years and is now quite popular, if not respected. Even an alleged Right-wing hate group is using their music. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church produce parodies of many popular songs, including rap and hip-hop. When news crews tried to get the church's side of the story, they were greeted with signs saying "God Hates News Reporters" and worse, "Raped Reporter is God's Judgment." Our reporters then fled due to concerns for their immediate safety.

As for Cool Man and Smooth G, their news conference was rather low key and there were no reports of crimes during the event. Officials were concerned that there might be bonfires without permits, but someone brought a trash shredder. That way, those wanting to get rid of the old music used it instead of burning their CDs and cassette tapes. The press conference marked farewell to an era.

So where will urban music take us? Nobody really knows, but it will certainly not go back to how it was.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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