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Saturday, 13 May 2017

image for Once-popular Girls' Names Now Bomb with Newborns' Parents
Caitlyn (Bruce the Deuce) Jenner: "What's in a name depends on what's up one's skirt."

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, USA -- After Olympics swimmer Bruce ("The Deuce") Jenner, Breakfast of Champions, announced his new identity as a "woman" named Caitlyn, the name has become more unpopular with parents of newborns than any other girls' names.

Variant spellings of Bruce's new name, such as Caitlin, Caitlyn, Katelynn and Kaitlynn, have also plummeted in popularity.

The name had once topped a list of the 1,000 most popular girls' names, but, after Bruce swapped his sex, it fell off the list completely.

"I don't want to name my precious baby girl after a man," Thelma Rogers bitched.

Other once-popular girls' names, such as Isis, Calpernia, Alexis, Wendy, Carmen, Candis, Laverne, Harisu, Cocinelle, Joanna, Chelsea, Andreja, Lea, and Jenna, have also fallen from favor among parents for the same reason: men who have become "women" have adopted them.

"I doan cel'brate 'diversity' when it come to my baby girl," Madeline Murdoch whined, "and if that be 'politically incorrect,' they kin kiss my black ass."

A few boys' names have also plummeted in popularity because women who claim to have become "men" have taken them as their own. The most unpopular among these names is Chaz, a name adopted invented by the son of Sonny and Cher Boner.

"Have you seen Chaz?" Murdoch asked. "That be one ugly white woman! I wouldn't name my dog, Pooper, after that."

Actually, many people have named their dogs Chaz. Popular names for people's bitches are Isis, Calpernia, Alexis, Wendy, Carmen, Candis, Laverne, Harisu, Cocinelle, Joanna, Chelsea, Andreja, Lea, and Jenna.

"But that's just a coincidence," Jenner lied.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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