Written by humanoid
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Topics: Sex, Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, 4 May 2017

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"Not a single penny! " Doe exclaims.

In an exclusive interview with Jimmy Astro, Jane Doe, famed gossiper and celebrity basher, shows all by complaining on national television about peoples money problems.

Astro asked her if marriage is part of her agenda any time soon. Her reply was shocking and uninhibited. "I don't feed or cloth playboys," proclaimed Doe. She then lifted her dress to expose her sexy legs.

Like a drunk sea hag she rambled about Harvy the Rabbit and his $30,000.00 alimony checks awarded by the courts. "He remarried and lost his alimony," argued Astro as the crowd applauded.

"Yes, that may be true but the political lies still lingers," exclaimed Doe.

"I read the constitution and it states one thing, but the American political system does another when concerning community property laws," says Ms Doe.

Ms Doe explains the Fith Amendment: nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

If individuals work and create wealth then that's a person's private property and when the courts issue alimony that's a legal order for the public use of an individuals private property. The state has to repay the individual the money back with interest as just compensation under the guidance of the constitution.

Ms Doe takes the issue further by saying a court order to pay alimony constitutes slavery because it subjugates a persons free will by forcing them to give up their private property unjustly. "A marriage license within itself constitutes slavery when the state restricts the total separation of married people, explains Doe.

If two people live together they need to make written business contracts for activities or joint ownership of real property just like business partners who work with written contracts.

A marriage is an acknowledgement of a union it's not a contract because people are free under the constitution and a person's body can't be restrained to another person with the use of a marriage license or contract because slavery of a person's body violates the constitution. The state is the guilty party committing the slavery.

Under the constitution people can walk away from a marriage without having to give notice to a court or that court is quilty of slavery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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