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Thursday, 14 December 2006

image for Porn Company "Girls Gone Wild" Producer Claims to have Learned a Lesson from Sentence
The camera loves you darling

The producer and production company of the popular "Girls Gone Wild" video series claim to have learned their lesson after a recent court sentence. A Florida court fined Joe Francis and Mantra Films $1.6 million dollars after it was learned that at least two 17 year olds had appeared naked in one of their films.

Francis noted to reporters that the fine represents less than 12% of the company's profit for 2005. "Based on that," said Francis, "we have figured out how to set new standards for ourselves. We'll be featuring a lot more young, hot, bouncing, drunk, sweaty female bodies of horny, gullible, nubile, under-sexed high school and junior high girls. If that is what our customers truly want, we'll pay that small fine every year to bring it to them! No sacrifice is to great to make the customer happy."

Jurors in the Florida case, which dates back to 2002, were sequestered with the video in question and all of the other Mantra videos for over seven months. Twelve televisions and twenty-four DVD players were worn out by the panel in their quest to render justice.

Of those jurors, 72 year old Edward Salinas of Miami Beach, gave a statement on behalf of the panel. He said that "it was really difficult to come to a quick decision on this. It took a lot of long, slow, contemplation and repeat viewings of the films and the girls before we could make up our mind. We felt the need to be alone with our thoughts in our rooms while we watched the films and contemplated any suffering sustained by these two kids."

"While we feel that 17 year old titties don't look much different to 18 year old boobs, we wanted to study and be sure. If we had been given a pair of 16 and 19 year old knockers for comparison, it might have been easier to make a distinction."

"We all feel that there is nothing wrong with an woman taking off her bra or panties and wiggling her goodies to an interested audience of consenting adults. That's just human nature and this company has captured that essence of humanity perfectly."

"In the end, however, we decided that it was wrong to have those four firm, ripe, torpedoes in the film. The film makers took advantage of those two young, drunk, partying girls, even though we doubt that either were virgins or wouldn't have put out to a one-legged fat man for a six pack."

"I do want to thank Mantra for being good sports about all of this and giving all of the jurors a free set of films and inviting us to screen the dailies of their next movie: Girls Gone Wild 52; 11th Grade Cheerleaders and their Pom Poms."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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