Written by Gee Pee
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Thursday, 2 March 2017

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Never say "never": Neverland for sale again!

NEVERLAND, CA-The late, not-so-great Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch in Californicate is "for sale" at "only $67 million." For this low, low price, buyers get not only remorse, but also a zoo, complete with llamas; theme park rides allegedly stolen from Dizneyland; Jackson's deathbed; and the site on which the pop star allegedly molested at least one of the boys he invited to sleepovers at his sprawling mansion. The anesthetic Propofol, from which Jackson died, is not included.

At $67 million, down from the initial asking price of $100 million, the estate is a "steal."

The ranch is named in honor of Peter Pan, a boy who, like Jackson, refused to grow up. Jackson found the estate a "safe, fun retreat," until a boy charged him with molestation and Jackson was tried, but acquitted, in a 2005 trial. Thereafter, the singer tried to sell the place, saying it had "bad memories," but no one wanted to pay his asking price.

Allegedly, the ranch includes Jackson's ghost, which creeps the hallways, singing songs from his Thriller album.

The Democratic Party has reportedly expressed an interest in purchasing the property and converting it into their headquarters in preparation for Oprah Winfrey's anticipated run for president in 2020.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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