After being analysed by lasers, scientists have offered the "Big Ben Bong" to be England's representative in this year's Eurovision Travesty!
Theresa May is enthusiastic about the "Bong Song" representing the UK in Europe's Nr 1 horrific festival because she maintains the rest of Europe is rubbish, everything that happens in England is, quote, unquote, "bloody marvelous" and see's the "Bong Song" winning hands down!
26 other European entries tend to believe this is just another one of Theresa's sly tricks to trigger a "Hard Brexit" and are not falling for her sorcery in attempting to get them to bow to her demands, and feel the "Bong Song" is even worse than their entries (Is that possible?).
Germany, have also reverted to a traditional song hoping that it will at last conquer Europe (it has been a long time) with an upbeat, techno version of their Christmas Carol called "Stille Nacht" (Silent Night in English) performed by Bavarian Loonies in knicerbockers and Lederhosen; it promises to be a neck on neck grandstand finish as to who will get last place!
The rest of Europe are laughing at the "Big Ben Bong Song" because they have entered a song of unity to counteract the UK entry. They will all be performing the same song in different languages to make sure the Brexit ridden Brits do not get their way! The song is a multi-culti-Euro version of that Queen classic "Bohemian Rhapsody" renamed "Brex-Etonian Tragedy" dedicated to Britain's Nr 1 buffoon and ex-Etonian, BOJO, who loves a bit of "Bong" whilst preparing his anti-European, lie ridden speeches for Theresa!