HERMOSA BEACH, CA -- Two years ago, John Crapola, who claims to be a "stand-up comedian, if not a stand-up guy," bored his tiny audience in a nearly empty "comedy club" in Hermosa Beach, California. When he started talking about his penis, ladies near the stage objected, at which point Crapola picked up his stool to throw at them. However, they slipped past the obese "comic," escaping uninjured. His antics so offended the other three people in the audience that they also left in the middle of his "act," leaving Crapola alone on the stage with his penis.
Crapola grew up in East Liverpool, Ohio, "which explains a lot," critics contend. Before he became a phunny man, he worked as a doorman at Comedy Storage in Hollyweird, where he bought props to use when he rehearsed his routine while working as a groundskeeper at a local golf course. Before his Hermosa Beach gig, he appeared on a late-night television show, he says, but he cannot remember its name or who hosted it.
Crapola hasn't been heard of since, but his stool reportedly was later used by Bill Cosby, another stand-up comic whose penis women find objectionable.