Washington, DC Donald Trump, newly sworn in President of the U.S., had the shortest inaugural ball season on record.
"Trump's balls totally bucked the trend. For the last few decades, the ball season has been getting longer and longer. Obama's last one lasted two weeks. But Trump's was over the next afternoon!" said a White House historian.
"Usually there are a lot of people into partying and just generally jubilant about their candidate winning. But this year, it seemed like no one felt like celebrating or anything" said one of the Washington policemen. "Everybody just kind of picked up and left!