Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Circus, Clowns

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

image for Laid off Ringling Brothers Clowns Adding To More Scary Clown Sightings
I've got a case of happy feet.

The Greatest show on earth, the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, will be ending after 5,421 years in existance. The circus' inception occurred in England shortly after the creation of Stonehenge when P.T. Barnum convinced the druids to join him, Spinny Baily and the Ringling brothers as clowns forming the world's first traveling circus. In later years the circus moved to the US where they performed such death defying acts which included elephants stomping English peasants, tigers eating Christians and wild porcupine taming.

Throughout their history, it was the clowns that made the circus what it is today and in the end it was the clowns that brought about its downfall.

"In the beginning it was a lot of fun when we had the druids as clowns performing slap stick comedy over the coming of the winter and summer solstices. We used to carry a complete replica of Stonehenge which was employed in the act", stated circus spokeswoman Linda Giggles. "The clown acts evolved over the centuries into more progressive acts that today include clowns imitating politicians. But the problem is we had too many clowns. As a matter of fact we now have clowns dominating both houses of congress as well as the presidency and both political parties. For what it's worth the clowns just aren't funny anymore".

"They are, also, costing us a lot of money so we decided to sack them all now while we live out the final days of our once great circus".

Without the financial backing of the circus the clowns have been forced to vacate Congress and roam the country joining the droves of other clowns who show up unexpectedly at urban and suburban venues to terrify people, most notably young children.

Police are concerned about the clowns especially over the fact they get into pantomime fights with parked and unoccupied vehicles.

"All this clowning around has gotten out of control", explained an exasperated Greensboro, North Carolina Police Chief Oversight. "There is nothing more annoying than having someone break into your home at 3 AM and start blowing a bike horn in your ear. It gets worse when you give chase and they run out the back door and crush all you petunias with their over sized shoes. We tried setting up a Clown Team to handle this but it didn't work. All the Clown Team members did was clown around. In hindsight maybe we shouldn't have used clowns for the Clown Team".

As of press time it is rumored the clowns have managed to infiltrate the executive branches of various cable companies and are now dictating policy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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