Written by bigd
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Monday, 11 December 2006

image for Playboy Hugh Hefner is new Pope
Priests will now be allowed to marry

Hugh Hefner, the founder of the Playboy Empire has been appointed the 266th Pope in a dramatic turn of events. The Vatican were in a crisis meeting earlier this month following the 265th Pope, Benedict XVI recent diatribe on the Muslim community.

Hugh Hefner will be called Pope Hef I; is believed to bring reconciliation between people of different faiths, particularly the Christians and Muslims, which were badly damaged by Pope Benedict XVI. Pope Hef I experience in marketing will be a great asset during his papacy, as it did during the playboy era, when he managed to unite and penetrate every faith including the Buddhist monks into his readership.

Pope Hef I has promised reforms in the Church. In order to bring reconciliation between the faiths many things are to change during the tenure of Pope Hef I. For instance:

  • Priests in the past were plagued by scandal, will now be allowed to marry
  • Church attendance amongst men will increase, and hopefully attract some from the other faiths, thanks to the all new 'centrefold' nuns in the church choir.
  • Pilgrimage will be observed at 'Sisters of the Mansion' for one week-end in Holmby Hills, Los Angeles, California, formally Playboy Mansion.
  • Everyone will read the new and improved scriptures; complete with pictures.

Hopefully peace will reign on earth - Amen.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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