Written by Newsbreaker
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Saturday, 10 December 2016

Following his recent breakdown, Kanye West has not been seen nor heard much leading to various conspiracy theories ranging from Kanye being relocated to a secret government facility to the international hip hop star losing his sanity while being ripped from our reality into an extradimensional plane.

Paparazzi yesterday claimed to have captured photos of the rap legend at a Hollywood Furniture museum. Conspiracy theorists & rap fans have banded together however and expressed skepticism that the photos are in fact of the rap mogul & Kardashian husband sitting alone in a chair.

"That ain't Kanye," said a group of youths by a bus stop. "He ain't standin' up & yellin'. Yo, where's Kim? Does Kanye have blonde hair? That ain't no Kanye. That's a plant!"

"They're just doing this to shut him up! They didn't like what he was sayin' so they took him away!" claimed a woman at a supermarket. "They took him away & want us to believe they don't have him"

A young man at a gas station agrees the photograph does not picture Kanye but interprets the reason for the alleged cover-up differently: "Some force from another reality wanted West's power & ripped him from our reality. The one percent knows but they don't want to say anything. They won't do anything to protect our quantum rights. They're out there man!"

A grizzled Vietnam Veteran we talked to after the young man left suggested we contact the Los Angeles Cryptozoology and UFO Center to talk to experts on disappearances & abductions for what might have happened in regards to the celebrity disappearance.

After a two and a half hour drive down the street, we reached the LACUFOC for the expert advice suggested & we were surprised with the conclusions reached. We talked to Dr. Giorgio Anoitos and he offered this:

"The fluff here; the sleekness of texture here; the proximity to water; In my opinion what we have here is more likely to be a photograph of a flock of wild geese than it is to be Kanye West."

We've reached out to several government agencies but most have failed to respond. Those that have, call our investigation "absurd" & "baseless."

Whether West is yet to be found or not, there will no doubt continue to be controversy as to what's actually become of America's biggest rap personality. Many Americans, through distrust of their government, believe the government knows the answers & they aren't sharing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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