Written by Jaggedone
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Thursday, 10 November 2016

image for Sharapova becomes UN Ambassador for global drug runners!
Maria Sharapova is returning between the "white lines" as an ambassador for drug runners!

Banned ex-tennis star and super grunt-er, Maria Sharapova, has been elected by the UN to represent a growing number of illegals whose extremely difficult and dangerous job it is supplying the world's drug consumers with fresh lines of produce.

The UN feels that "super-grunter" Sharapova has the necessary qualifications and experience to help Drug Runners breach frontiers, smuggle illegal drugs into all of the major global drug consuming cities, and be of assistance to top runners by keeping up their fitness levels (a necessary weapon in their armory whilst running from the cops!).

Maria will even have her own ban shortened by six-months because the UN feel that after yesterday's US election of Trump, life could become even harder for drug-runners, especially the Mexican ones.

Sharapova has also been studying the life of Pablo Escobar, Colombian gold medalist in drug-running, hoping to gain an insight into the minds and pockets of major drug-runners. In addition, her own personal runners have given inside tips and the UN are most happy with their new ambassador.

Donald Trump, president-elect, refused to comment on Maria's new status, but did mention the fact that forgotten, ageing, German soccer-star, Bastian Schweinsteiger's wife, Ana IvanoviƧ, has the most beautiful rear-end he ever had the pleasure to smack his racket on!

Now where's my line Maria??

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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