Trump Tower, NY Trump gave his 18th press conference in 4 days to announce more of his selections for his Cabinet.
"Many people have remarked that many of my selections came from my old TV show, Celebrity Apprentice. Well, I was secretly trying all those people out for my Cabinet. So I will be deducting the cost of this from my taxes. Among other things. If I ever get around to filing them. Anyways, here is the list of my appointees. Also, I'll admit I'm reemploying many of these people because I know how much fun it will be to fire them all again" said Trump. Trump's comment on each appointee is in parentheses.
Dept. of State-Dennis Rodman-("And he's going straight to North Korea!")
Dept. of the Treasury-Donald Trump, Jr. ("Just to make it stays in the family")
Dept. of Commerce-Howard Stern ("Because he promised to destroy all the tapes of when I was on his show")
Dept. of Agriculture-Clint Black ("I was torn between him and that other hayseed, Trace Adkins")
Dept. of Defense-Jesse James ("I think he'll be good because he's scary looking and that's good when you're going up against somebody")
Dept. of Homeland Security-Andrew "Dice" Clay ("Another position where you just want a tough-looking dude.")
Dept. of Energy-Gary Busey ("Gary might have his faults, such as being severely crazy, but he did do a great job in that Buddy Holly thing and he is the most energetic person I know!")
Dept. of Interior-Sharon Osborne ("I gotta stick a dame in here somewhere or I'll get in trouble and she's a pretty tough broad.")
Dept. of Housing and Urban Development-Sinbad ("I'm not sure what this department does, but I'm told it would be a good place to put my African-American.")
Dept. of Health and Human Services-Cheryl Tiegs ("Because I know she's made a lot of people feel better after looking at her!")
Dept. of Labor-Carnie Wilson ("Because she looks like she might go into labor at any time")
Dept. of Veteran Affairs-Jose Canseco ("I think maybe on a good day Jose could handle SOME kind of job if we keep an eye on him!)
My daughter Ivanka asked me to give her a Cabinet position and so she's Secretary of Fashion now."
Judge Judy will be joining the Supreme Court.
"I'll be throwing the rest of the jobs in a hat and picking them later when I have time" said Trump.