Sad news reaching us tonight of the death of war-time music hall star, Mickey Tiddler.
Mickey, for those who don't know, used to be loved by all and sundry for his amazing act involving two ferrets, a length of clothes-line and a rolled up copy of The Times. It's often been said that without him we would never have won the war.
Bert Trapdoor his long time partner and stooge told The Spoof:
"Mick was a one-off. There was nobody like him. His act was the stuff of legend and that time he was arrested was nothing more than a misunderstanding.
He did have a reputation of being a bit of a tight-wad but that was all newspaper talk. Mind, I'm going to see Jeanie, his widow, and ask about getting that twenty I loaned him back in '41 before I lose the opportunity. I'll bring it up when I'm paying my condolences" smiles Bert.
Tiddler was a particular favourite of the Queen Mum and in fact the gossip columns of the forties were full of nods and winks suggesting that perhaps there had once been a brief affair.
The Queen made the following statement today:
"It is with the deepest regret that we learn of the death of Michael Tiddler. He was a regular visitor to Balmoral during the war and a particular favourite of Queen Elizabeth, The My Mother. He will be sadly missed".
Prince Phillip, The Duke of Edinburgh, added:
"Was he a bloody Englishman? ... He was?...Good! Just so long as he wasn't one of those bleeding foreigners then! He will be sadly missed"