Written by W.P. Wonder
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Thursday, 20 October 2016

image for Celebs ticked at Porn Knock-Offs
The Star that Denzel doesn't think will shine.

Two, to be exact: Tom Cruise and Denzel Washington.


Tom Cruise, out promoting his latest "Jack Reacher" fare on the Ricki Lake show, grew furious when he found out there's a new nudie flick called "Jack Reach-around-er", which caters to Gay men.

Bellowing and ranting he will sue anyone and everybody who suggests he's not heterosexual, Tom then demonstrated how a real red-blooded man reaches around, right on the host's desk. Ricki just didn't have the guts to ask him, "Why would a man feel the need to perform the 'reach-around' jerking maneuver on a woman?"

As for Denzel Washington, well, when confronted by an ambush amateur reporter regarding another knock-off, he could only sadly shake his head and reply, "No comment."

It did seem obvious he wasn't too pleased with Spunko Enterprises new release "Remember the Tit-tans", with the subtitle "It'll help you rub one out."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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