Nashville, The press mistakenly attributed Jessica Simpson's recent crying jag to blowing the lines of the song, 9 to 5. Simpson was performing the tune in front of her childhood hero Dolly Parton as a tribute. It seemed Jessica, despite having cue cards at her disposal, forgot some of the words.
When the band stopped Jessica apologized, citing nervousness as the cause of her forgetfulness. Embarrassed, she ran off the stage crying.
Some say the real reason for Mrs. Simpson's breakdown was the paparazzi and the public in general who she claims have been ignoring her, and her vagina, altogether.
Reliable sources back stage at the tribute show over heard Jessica whimpering into a towel, "I keep it well groomed and get bikini waxed on a regular basis, still nobody cares about my vagina at all. Nobody cares!"
It seems Mrs. Simpson has been going out of her way to join the Panty less, Crotch Shot, Club, better known as the PCSC.
The publicity associated with PCSC shots could mean additional millions of CD sales to an artist.
The club is very exclusive with Paris Hilton acting as head of the membership drive. Britney Spears' vulva and Lindsey Lohans' labia have been seen going through the
doors to the swank club recently.
It just kills Jessica her supple assets have not been getting any attention since Britney Spears went on her exhibitionist rampage, one hairdresser said.
From the desk of
Buck E. Filbert